Monday, September 27, 2010

WHO AM I MAD AT?!?!

Am I mad at him for the end of our relationship or am I mad at myself ? Am I mad that things ended or that I let myself get into a relationship that didn't cater to my well being? I have taking care my man for 14 years always waiting for my other half to take care of me. I have even told him " Hey I took care of you , you need to take care of me!!!!" and I waited and waited and it never happen. This past year he cheated on me, and his reasoning was he didn't think of ME in the equation. He did it because he felt he could. Only thing was he shitted where he ate!!! The broad knew me and worked with me , bad move. Deep down I knew, all women know when its happening, we would even joke about it. I guess it was both of our way of letting the other know what was going on without saying it. Well she told in an email. And I guess that was the end really I wanted it to work thinking well now we'll try harder, well it didn't work. And it's over but what's what true to my character I'm still taking care of him. Sad. I'm hopping he comes back, who knows, I do love him even if he doesn't love me. Yeah, who I'm I mad at? me..

Friday, September 10, 2010

UP, DOWN, AND SIDEWAYS, BUT REALLY I DON'T KNOW

My so call relationship has had its ups and downs and most recent its been sideways. Sideways in a way that I don't know where we stand with each other. I don't know , I DON'T KNOW I DON' T KNOW. THE SEX IS GOOD BUT THE TIME OUT OF BED IS TENSE. I KNOW I'M GUARDING MY HEART, AND I'M GOING TO KEEP DOING SO BECAUSE EVERY TIME I LET HIM IN HE BREAKING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW.